Updates.

Just a quick post today. i cant be bothered writing anything huge. or ranting. im too tired. just wanted to say that its 4 months and 20 days until New Moon comes out. yay. i know im sad and have no life. but i dont care. also its only one month and 27 days until blood promise comes out. and only 17 days until harry potter 6 comes out. OMG! im so excited! everything is happening at the moment. total rush of adrenaline. woot for fantasy.

Whoops.

Im my previous post i wrote: "she would patronise me, she would chastise me for making such a dumb mistake". This totally contradicts the entire entry basically. change the "would's" to "wouldnt's" and the whole thing makes more sense. this is why i should edit my blog before i post it.
laters.

What If?

I was in the shower just before, and i noticed that my stomach looked slightly larger than usual. we just had dinner which is why it looked bigger. yes i realise you didnt need to know that (and you're probably going to have nightmares now) but you need to know why im writing this post. i suddenly thought, what if i was pregnant? what would i do? who would i turn to? dont ask me why this suddenly popped into my head. it just did. and now im contemplating it. and i find writing it down is a better way to organise my thoughts.
firstly i'd need buy a pregnancy test, just to confirm. but how would i do this? go get it myself? ask a friend? ask my parents? my brother? i think i'd be way to much of a coward to get it myself and i worry too much about what people think of me. yes im shallow. would i then ask my parents? the short answer: no i probably wouldnt. i'd be way too afraid to tell them, especially if it was a false alarm. what about ashley? i would seriously consider asking ash. or at least discussing the situation with him. but there's no way he'd be able to get it for me because his mode of transport is a bike which he wouldnt ride into town on just for me. like its seriously a long way. so he'd hav to ask mum to drive, which mum would question him why, and quite frankly, ashley is a pathetic liar. so the last option: ask my friends. but which friend? i love them all, but who would i confide in the most. see now im getting concerned that my friends will read this and think i dont trust them. i do. honestly i do. but with such a personal issue i'd be very reluctant. in all honesty, i'd probably ask emma. she looks after me the most and i know that she'd support me in whatever happens. and im not saying this just because emma is the only one who reads my blog! i'd trust emma with my life. and my baby's life if this were the case. because i know em would go and get the pregnancy test for me. she sit with me and wait the agonising 2 minutes that it took to determine my fate. and i know that no matter what she'd make me feel better. she'd probably get a whole packet of condoms for me, laugh and say "lauren, these are interesting contraptions. use these next time". then she'd probably give me a lesson on how to use them! (full of demonstrations of course!) which of course would make such an uncomortable situation so much more relaxed. and when i suddenly break down over the confusing circumstances, i know that she'd hug me and stay with me, and tell me that everything will be ok. even if it wouldnt be. she would patronise me, she would chastise me for making such a dumb mistake, she support me no matter what decision i made, even if it went against all her beliefs. thats what i love about emma. she's such a great person through and through. this has suddenly gone from a statement about me being pregnant to me declaring emma's awesomeness. what a strange post. well i was going to write more about whether i'd have the baby, or an abortion, or go for adoption, but i feel i've gone too far off topic and i cant resurrect my previous thoughts. so im just going to stop now. i've had fun writing this. as completely inplausible it may be. i've never had a boyfriend! as if i'd get any action from anyone. apart from emma that is. *wink*

Ranting for the sake of Ranting

An anonymous source told me that i need to write on my blog more. So that's exactly what im doing. I have nothing of importance to say, or write. After reading emmie's blog i feel like ranting now. she's put me in the mood, as weird as that sounds. but then again, anything that i rant about will be of little significance compared to emma who actually had something importance and justified to rant about. so just keep in mind that im a whiny brag who has nothing else better to do than rant about nothingness.
first off i would just like to point out how much i detest biology. it is probably the most important subject that i need for my future career of pathology. you know the blood people =]. this said, i cant help but hate it. i want to study blood and all its aspects. not the ducking (lol) cross section of a dicot leaf! in no way is this going to help me with my life. it is a waste of my time, the teachers time, everyone's time. the subject is so badly structured and has no orientation or lesson plan. we cut stuff up with scapels, look at it, attempt to find it under a microscope and draw it. yay for learning! like most people are content doing this, but i get so infuriated with the lack of learning. call me a nerd, but i dont care. i want structure, stability, notes, questions - not the bloody questions in the biozone that make no sense to what we are doing and is completely unnecessary do to the incredibly hard nature of the questions. "oh don't worry" says mr i probably shouldnt name on here "we wont be doing things that complex" THEN WHY SET THE FREAKING QUESTIONS!?!?! uh. anyway. i basically failed my biol exam. ok not failed, but went considerably worse than all my other subjects. and why is this you ask? because we have no revision material. we have learnt god knows what but we have no record of anything. the biol exams are so specific and so hard. you need to know the entire textbook word for word off by heart to be able to answer all the questions. like seriously, we didnt learn about the open circulatory system of grasshoppers. who the freaking hell needs to learn that! who would go out of their way to learn something as insignificant as that. i really REALLY dont want to do biol next year. but i cant. it would be so beneficial for me to do it. i wonder if i can quit it, and only come into class for the blood lessons? that would be awesome. then i could do something i really enjoyed. like PE. i know that emma is reading this (as she is the only one who reads this) thinking "what the hell does she want to do PE for. crazy girl" (admit it em, thats what you're thinking). well believe it or not, i actually like PE. especially sports science last year. i loved it. and not being modest, well yeah i am but i dont freaking care, i was good at it. my average for like the entire year was 98%. i loved it. amittedly i hated writing the pracs, but i hate that in physics and chem too. but i loved doing the pracs. i loved learning about the bones and the muscles. i've been discussing all of ashley's anatomy stuff with him because it interests me so much. i love the human body. that sounds a bit sexual doesnt it? let me rephrase i love the internal workings of the human body. sports science was the best. i didnt have any friends in that class but i loved it anyway, which proves how much i loved it coz i die without my friends (especially you emmie). the PE department asked me to do PE 3/4 this year. i turned it down. wanna know why? COZ I HAD TO DO FUCKING BIOL!

Pirate Party!

Dont get too excited. im not having a pirate party. though i wish i was. hehe pirates. facebook just generated my pirate name. Im Captain Soggy Beard of the Pirate Ship Smelly Draws. now thats just degrading. jacky got a semi cool name. im obviously not piratey enough to get an awesome name! tears. my life's aspiration. gone. on the plus side im pretty sure i passed my chemistry exam! so im in a good mood! =]

Exam Exhaustion.

Its me, again. well i'd hope so, coz id be very concerned if someone hacked onto my account. i dont see why they would. this is hardly exciting.
just wanted to come and complain about chemistry tomorrow. i have a feeling that im getting on peoples nerves by complaining about it. i wish they just want to say "suck it up lauren, its not the end of the world". which is completely valid, coz its not the end of the world. just the end of my chemistry career. slightly less important, yet vital to me. its so fricking hard! like seriously. i use to blame my non-understanding of chemistry on pituche (really bad chem teacher). but now he's gone and we have a slightly better teacher. yet im still not understanding. im getting good marks but im not understanding. i have a great abililty of remember things, i just cant apply them to situations, which is why im bad at application tasks *cough methods cough*. anyway. chem sucks. ash is pissed with me. my life is slowly tumbling downwards. i shall go and wallow in my misery.

The torture called methods.

Methods exam tomorrow. Shit. I probably should've studied more. but sims is too appealing. and reading books. good books. all thanks to jacky. jacky its your fault im going to fail methods tomorrow.
mum's afraid im going to go down the "was a goody goody two shoes but then got rebellious" path. like her niece did. narelle is like ooberly smart, and she 'fell in the crowd' and she failed year 12 and made a horrible mess of her life. she's all good now, but she could've done so much better. and mum is seriously afraid that that's what's going to happen to me. is that seriously something i'd do? like honestly. sure im going through a rebellious stage at the moment but im not going to ruin my life. plus i have awesome friends who support me and love me, i hope!, so im not going to go ditch them for 'popular' people who get smashed every weekend. gar. i just bothers me that she's so concerned. does she know me at all. dad was all like "do you honestly think she'd do that?". Daddy stuck up for me =]. i think mum is just paranoid. she often does things like this. anywho. METHODS TOMORROW!!!!!!! ARGH! Epic fail. Night!

Bothersome Brothers

"its bloody hot in here" quoted by Ashley. he is currently questioning the point of my blog, especially when i have one follower. shout out to Emmie!
ear ringing problem is still continuing. but not only is one ear hurting, the other one is completely blocked! so I'm currently very deaf at the moment. anyway i have to go. ash wants to play marine commando that conveniently happens to be installed on my computer. ash's laptop is, i quote, "too shit to run it" cya!

Stop the ringing.

So it turns out that the ringing in my ear happens to be an ear infection. I had to be sent home (when i say sent, i mean forced) because i couldnt hear anything. The teachers would talk and all i could hear was ringing. just ringing. Im hoping it will get better because i have exams coming up and there is no way im going to miss school from now on. exam revision. fun fun fun.
well i have to go to bed. mum threatened to turn the internet off if she caught me reading fanfics. apparently im meant to be resting. sigh. fanfic is my form of resting. drool. omg NEW MOON TRAILER IS AWESOME! i like it when bella says "jake run!" and then he turns into a giant wolf. like its totally wrong in all aspects of the plot, but i still like it. anyway. bye y'all.