Monday, August 3, 2009
Is there something wrong with me?
I have this friend. I've been friends with her for a very long time. We use to be so close. Then she started to get more popular. She got new friends, ones who are seen as 'cool', something which i am not. Im totally fine with that. However i dont think she thinks the same way. She's changed. I feel like she looks down on me now. She calls me immature and weird. When im with her, and only her, she turns back into the person i use to know. She jokes and laughs, and we reminise about the past and how we wish to go back to the wonders of junior school. But as soon as someone else steps into the picture its like her whole demeanour changes. She looks uncomfortable. It doesnt take a genius to figure out that she doesnt want to be around me anymore. Which makes me wonder. Is she right to think of me like this? Am i too immature and too nerdy now. Is it just her that thinks this? Or do the others secretly not want to be with me either. I feel like something is wrong me. Maybe everyone is growing up and i just havent. Maybe, like my looks, im still a 12 year old. Am i so entirely strange that everyone looks upon me with disdain? It makes me wonder.
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I don't look upon you with disdane.
ReplyDeleteand you know it.
you are perfect the way you are.
you just need to be more confident.
i know what and who you are talking about, and i can completely see what you mean.
but quite frankly, if she now thinks shes 'too cool' for you, then its probably just because shes not sure how to project her cool image whilst hanging out with who we all know the the TRULY cool kids - nerd patrol.
face it, you are who you are.
much like mary poppins, you are practically prefect in every way.
i love you for who you are, and you most certainly know it.
hearts, kisses and various other showings of affection,
xoxox your other half
theres still nothing wrong with you
ReplyDeletebut you just gained 10 points of awesomeness for practically lying on top of my in front on mr fry.
you're out and proud, and you're not even gay!!!
heart you a million times over!!! =)
xooxxo
People can be a pain... You're not immature, you're not weird, you damn awesome and Ianto~ uh, well, just Ianto. There's my point!
ReplyDeleteThat's quite horrible for somebody to act like that. I don't know why they'd do such a thing. Nasty and so immature on their part. Hypocrit. We all love you, so that person had better get over their image and realise they do too. Or budge before all your friends get nasty and we nom them to death!
Grrr. Ellie Marie loves you too and sends her purr-y kitty-love!
I don't know who you're talking about, but whoever it is needs to get a fucking grip. Christ almighty, what kind of a world do we live in where people still care about others opinions - to me, as long as YOU still have self respect and are having fun then what the fuck does it matter if it seems weird to everyone else.
ReplyDeleteI get this sort of thing from Sophie and Grace all the time and you know what I do? I ignore them.
On one occasion I asked them 'What kind of a person still cares about what other people think?' Sophie gave me a weird look and said 'I do' like caring was the normal thing to do. Well fuck that! I thought - I'm not going to sit down and be quiet because that's the only way people will consider me normal. You know what Lauren? I love how weird we all are and I'm glad you're one of the few people who actually embraces their strangeness!
I get what you mean and I get it too. I don't think that she does it on purpose, it just kind of ... is. At least I like to think so. But it's sad and I don't know what to do. Sometimes I just think that we're not the same people that we were and perhaps the new 'us' isn't as compatible as the old one.
ReplyDeleteSorry to make this about me but I just wanted to show that you're not abnormal, perhas it's just that both of you are different to who you used to be and that's not a bad thing in itself. At the same time, it's sad and if you have any inspiration, let me know...